Can I?

Sometimes I am amazed by the power of stories. They give me those precious few moments of inspiration and encouragement wherein I feel the urge to fight it out with the whole world for my dreams. But then the night goes by and boom!! Rise and shine! And I am back to my same old self. :) How I wish I can retain that urge in me! Can I?

Introspection

Trying to understand yourself can be such a tiresome job. Adding to the pressure of analyzing why you do something the way you do, you also have to confront yourself. That’s the time when you realize what a mess of a person you are!! N wonder “Am I like this?” “Have I changed or have I been like this all while?”
Most times I do this so called “Introspection”, when I feel something amiss, rather when I feel things are not happening the way I want. I do this, like all others, because deep down I feel that I am not doing it right. Sometimes I understand what I did wrong, and sometimes I veer away from trying to understand. I just know I wanted to do it.
What I thought I do less and should do more is to do the same when things go right. I need to know what I did right. I need to know what I said that made the difference. I need to know how it clicked. Lastly, I need to know if I can be that self again!

Please don't wait, start walking towards them..

Views on 'Guzaarish' the 'depressing' movie

This is a writeup by Professor Dr. Ketna L Mehta, the Associate Dean Research of our college:-

The positives of the movie is that the film craft and direction is spectacular and flawless, the actors are more than convincing and this is the first movie on a spinal injured- a quadriplegic in Indian cinema. The images are real and flawless – the accident, topple from the bed, helplessness at the leaking roof, feeling the fresh air outdoors and many other such images.

A film is both a potent tool for transforming mindsets and can sometimes also don the role of weapons of mass destruction. We need the best in the industry to project and showcase more responsible cinema.

As a person with spinal injury and as the founder of our NGO, Nina Foundation I would not recommend this movie to my friends with spinal injury. I will elaborate this rationale:

1. Its a non- Indian take. The biggest motivating factor for a traumatic spinal injured is his ring of FAMILY. The entire family rallies around and forms a ring of support both physical and emotional. The independent living concept shown in the movie with Ethan living with only caretakers and caregivers is remote. More than one member of the family takes charge and enables one to sail through life happily.

2. We have glowing examples of Indian quadriplegics living with this life transforming disability for more than 12 years (the number in the movie). Maj HP S Ahluwalia, Rajendra Johar, Sruti Mohapatra, Subramaniam, Arvind Prabhoo, Nishant Khade, Abdulla and I can go on. They have families, friends and successful careers and goals and are leading successful lives.

3. Disability is a ‘untouchable’ ‘invisible’ taboo concept in India. The movie with its ending propagates this very concept. That a human being and his wishes are above the law? A disabled is better off ending his life? Obstacles and problems should taint our view about life? Spinal injury is too big a problem to live with?

4. Our NGO is attempting to create interest, involvement and inspiration amongst friends with spinal injury. Believe me its an uphill task. It takes hours and years to convince how to overcome our daily problems and yet lead a life of happiness and dignity. Guzaarish’s depressing tone nullifies that in three hours. Despite being financially independent (Ethan has written a book, has a radio show), he wants to end his life.

5. India is the capital of people with spinal injury, over 15 lacs and we add 20,000 every year. Most are ‘invisible’ as they are tucked away at home struggling to manage each day. How many can afford a 10 lac sip and puff wheelchair or tilt table in our country. The reason for being depressed is that there are no rehabilitation centres offering holistic services to face life. The rehabilitation at physical, psychological, social, vocational, recreational and spiritual levels prepare us to conduct our lives and also achieve a lot personally, professionally and in sports. (there is wheelchair tennis, basketball, quad rugby, swimming etc)

6. Alongwith the helplessness of rain falling on ethan’s face- there could have been more instances of enjoying the ‘fly on the nose’ moments. Spinal injury is a ‘real’ tough issue. Its not easy either living with paraplegia or quadriplegia. Yet it is hope which makes us rewrite medical books, push our limits, surprise our doctors and therapists. All the stakeholders work towards giving spunk back to our spines and this is a huge healthcare force. They too are disappointed by the treatment of the subject and ending of the movie.

7. And finally, Mr Bhansali, we don’t need euthanasia or suicides to end our lives in India. Poor management of bed sores, urine infections, bowel complications, osteoporosis, high cost of ventilators and medication, lack of trained attendants and caregivers and lack of world class rehabilitation centres anyway do the job, unfailingly. Even today in Bollywood land, Mumbai, we don’t have a world class spinal injury rehabilitation centre.

Charity is very easy, sponsoring a few spinal injured is simpler but getting involved with interest and inspiring our friends with spinal injury is the need of the hour. Imagine our children and young friends with spinal injury watching the movie with their devoted parents and families. The fact is that the very talented Mr Bhansali makes convincing movies on different aspects of disability; we would like positive role models conveying inspiring messages to face that one more day of our lives!

Dr Ms Ketna Mehta is founder of NGO Nina Foundation (www.ninafoundaiton.org)

Random thoughts

I just finished watching ‘Social Network’. Interesting piece of work, if it’s a true story entirely then even more interesting. It’s not very common that you find people so dedicated or passionate about something that they do some breakthrough interesting piece of work in it.
You can be passionate and still chose to do nothing about. Yes it is a choice.

‎"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void."

I love these line from the movie ‘You’ve got mail’. Actually it induces this feeling in me which scares me. Thankfully, I have learnt to ignore it.
If I look back a few years in my life, I know there were things I was passionate about. Things I chose not to do anything about due to various reasons. I told myself I can always come back to those things later and that if I am really into them it will happen on its own. But maybe, I was wrong.
Today I am in a city , away from all the things and all the people that really inspires me and gives me the courage to go on. In a place where I am trying to be passionate about the things in front of me. I just don’t like doing things because I have to. So I am trying to find the right reasons for it. I hope I do.

I really don't wanna put a title for this one ;)

I thought i just arrived and now i am done with my first sem!! Mumbai is a fast city! ;) I am yet to feel connected to this city but then again I know I take time for things, i don't like to rush it.:)
Each city has it's own flavor. I loved Bangalore for its cool laid back feeling. Loved it even more for the wonderful friends i got from there. And even more for the wonderful moments i had there.:) I don't wanna comment on Mumbai now because its too early and i wanna explore more here. But yea it is a fast city and the mad mba run of mine is adding to it. Everyone is always on the move. Always busy or at least trying to look busy.

Whenever i meet someone here and say i am from Kerala, they will be like "oh wow god's own country. I have heard it's very beautiful." And yea of course i feel proud. :) But I often find people very ignorant about the places and states in their own country. Esp the knowledge of some North Indians (Not alone) about South India. I think at times they think all South Indians belong to chennai or tamil nadu. Like the other day in college someone said 'Happy pongal' to me and i was like 'huh?'. Even after repeating then that I am from Kerala, the person gave me a blank look. :D Trust me, i find it very irritating (like any one else) but then they are stupid and frogs in their own well. Everyone loves their city or town or village they come from even if others may think its the worst place to be. Like Mumbaikars have this strong love for the city, which people coming into the city first time may not understand. But doesn't mean you don't respect it.
Recently,one of my friend's had put up a status saying I hate mumbai and she went on to abuse the busy trains and dirty roads here. Hmmm it was pretty clear that she missed home and was feeling lonely and wanted company. I felt it had nothing to do with Mumbai. We feel connected to a city when we connect with the people in the city.

Like I said every place/city has it's own flavor, you have to wait for your turn to taste it.

Udaan!!!

Haven't opened my blog after moving out from bangalore. :) There were so many things to write about after i came to mumbai, but i was never in the mood. Thought will post the poems from the movie 'Udaan' which i found beautiful :)



Chhoti-chhoti chhitrayi yaadein
Bichhi hui hain lamhon ki lawn par.
Nange pair unpar chalte-chalte
Itni door chale aaye
Ki ab bhool gaye hain –
Joote kahan utaare the.

Aedi komal thi, jab aaye the.
Thodi si naazuk hai abhi bhi.
Aur nazuk hi rahegi
In khatti-meethi yaadon ki shararat
Jab tak inhe gudgudati rahe.

Sach, bhool gaye hain
Ki joote kahan utaare the.
Par lagta hai,
Ab unki zaroorat nahin.


_____________________________________________

Jo lehron se aage nazar dekh paati toh tum jaan lete main kya sochta hoon,
Wo aawaz tumko bhi jo bhed jaati toh tum jaan lete main kya sochta hoon.
Zid ka tumhare jo parda sarakta toh khidkiyon se aage bhi tum dekh paate,
Aankhon se aadaton ki jo palken hatate toh tum jaan lete main kya sochta hoon.

Meri tarah khud par hota zara bharosa toh kuchh door tum bhi saath-saath aate,
Rang meri aankhon ka baant-te zara sa toh kuchh door tum bhi saath-saath aate,
Nasha aasmaan ka jo choomta tumhe bhi, hasraten tumhari naya janm paatin,
Khud doosre janam mein meri udaan chhoone kuchh door tum bhi saath-saath aate.

_____________________________________________

Namma Benguluru

This is the list of places, people and all those memories i have had in Bangalore in the past 2 years which i will never forget:) I will miss you Bangalore !!! :(
1. Balaji pg
2. Mittu (parrot) of balaji pg who cries out ‘Khanna do..Khanna do…’ and calls out names of girls in pg :D
3. Cook bitching about the pg owner with us :D
4. Nous day 2008 – Our ‘Papu can’t dance’ dance ;)
5. Walking in Madiwala market and taking photos for the photography contest
6. Dandiya night at palace grounds
7. Getting mugged :(
8. Weekend @ uncle’s place
9. Baby sitting Appu and Ammu :D – specifically making Appu eat! The first time he asked me to read to him a story in bed, I told him I don’t know how to read :P , but later on I had to learn..sigh!
10. Shopping with Krishna Ammayi :)
11. Ranga shankara theatre play – Moby Dick
12. Weekend with Suraj- Nov 08
13. Shopping and roaming around with Ash and Anju
14. The rickshaw accident with Ash
15. Bunking Time classes :D
16. Sunday mock cats with Sujith & Anju- Finishing the exam and then sitting at ccd for long hrs with coffee and complaining about the exam and realizing that we should start studying soon. But again every Sunday we come back to do the same.
17. Weekend eat outs with my foodie friends – Aloo, Anu and Sree ;D
18. Mishti chats
19. Night @ The Beach with Olee and Divya –first tequila shot ;)
20. Christmas 09 with Srini Sujith and Arjun
21. Making fun of Suith a.k.a Tundu ;)
22. Diwali @ Swanthanam
23. Visit to Mitra Jyothi
24. All office lunches and coffees with Olee :)
25. Easter Weekend 2010 with Srini, Sujith and Anju: Ramnagar trekking, Fuga, Ranga shankara theatre play – Robinson Crusoe, Tarot card reading ;)
26. NPOS team in Nous :)
27. And finally, all Restaurants, Coffee shops, Shopping malls and Pubs in Bangalore;)

PS: Will update if i have missed out something :)

Faces of life...

It was raining heavily, pouring down, a welcome respite from the heat of the past week. Huddled under the small over-crowded bus stand, I was waiting for the rain to let up so I could walk back from work, when suddenly, out of nowhere she came walking towards me, and then, as if to intrude into my thoughts, she came and stood beside me. She turned around, probably to check if there was anyone familiar. That is when our eyes met briefly. She smiled at me, but as usual I found it difficult to return the favor; maybe it was my ego or maybe my guilt. I looked away.
This was the fourth or fifth time that I was seeing her from the same bus stand. She catches the same bus every day I think. But it felt little odd that I should see her again today, as it was my last day in the city. Hmm I will never forget the day I saw her for the first time.
It was on the evening of my birthday and as a treat to my friends, they wanted me to take them to a dance bar. None of us had been to a dance bar before. And when one of my friends said he knows this place where you will find the best ‘hot chicks’, we were all excited and ready to go. We got there by 9. Our first impression about the place was that it was cheap and filthy. The crowd wasn’t too great either. But as more and more alcohol went down our throats, we started liking the atmosphere more. The spirits started to have an effect on our spirits too. At some point we were even head banging to the loud bollywood number. And yea my friend was right, there were many hot girls dancing at the bar. When I say hot, yeah they all had good bodies, some had pretty faces too; all that a man looks for in a woman, but still their faces lacked something. That was the first time I saw her.
Some days later, when I was walking back from office I saw her again for the second time from the bus stand. At first I didn’t recognize her, but she looked strangely familiar. As I passed her, it struck me. She was one of the girls from the bar. One of the pretty ones I must say. I turned back to have a second look and saw her getting onto a bus. She looked at me as she felt my eyes on her. She gave me a suspicious look from inside the bus and I quickly turned away my face and the bus rode away. There after I saw her 2 or 3 times at the same bus stand. When she saw me the next time, she gave me a small smile. I didn’t reciprocate and acted as though I am seeing her for the first time. Maybe she recognized me from the bar and there is a very good chance that everyone present at the bar that night might also recognize me and my group, as one my friends threw up on the table. :)

As I was lost in my thoughts, a bus came and she started getting into the bus. Though I prefer walking, I also got into the bus as the rain was not showing any signs of calming down. I grabbed a seat in the middle of the bus. She stood a little away from my seat, holding and leaning onto a pole. I started watching her closely from where I sat and soon, I was again lost in my thoughts. She looked so different that day at the bar. She was clad in a light blue salwar today. Her hair was tied together at the back and there was a small jute bag hanging on her shoulder. She held her wet umbrella on one hand and with the other she was holding onto the pole. A baby’s wail from the back of the bus was disturbing all in the bus but to me, it seemed like a far away cry. My eyes were glued on her face. She looked so calm and composed. She looked herself.
Before I could ponder more, the bus stopped in the front of a school and she got down. I turned back to have a last look at her. She went up to the front of the school gate and a small girl came running from inside the school towards her. And before I could see more, the bus started moving away. I strained and put my neck out of the window to see her. I saw her smile and put out her arms and hug the girl and before I could see more I had lost sight of her. I sat back properly on my seat. I felt something hard in my throat. Her face was fresh in my mind. I stared outside the window. No way! It can’t be her kid!?…Hmmm... Or maybe it was… Or maybe she was picking up somebody else’s kid.
I will never know. I will never see her; never will I get a chance to smile at her again, but I will never forget her.

All that glitters is not cricket

Thanks to IPL, for pushing cricket through bidding to gambling to controversies to, lately, politics. All for the ‘love for cricket’!!
IPL has indeed become one of the fastest growing businesses considering the fact that it is estimated at an enormous $4.13 billion today and that too in less than 3 years. Some people are even predicting it to soon out cross English Premium League (EPL), which, by the way, is totally absurd. EPL, which is currently valued at around $12 billion, is one of the most watched sporting league with it’s viewership spread across over 200 countries and is also known for it’s deep rooted league culture of Europe. IPL, on the other hand, has neither a rich league culture nor a global viewership. In fact, IPL is less about sports and more about glamour. It is merely about owing teams based on economic and politic strength and attracting crowd through various sporting and non sporting gimmicks, including the foreign cheer leaders and the late night parties. But we Indians are so much in love with this sport that we forget that all that glitters is not cricket.
This is evident from the controversies that are filling in the news papers nowadays, that speaks of the lack of authenticity and transparency with which this whole business is being handled. The BCCI who is supposed to be in the governing role; they are themselves the biggest promoters of IPL. This is because those who are associated with IPL or the franchisees are part of BCCI board too. Due to which the sporting spirit has been replaced with the greed and hunger for more money and power.
And today, the whole nation is discussing about Modi, Tharoor and BCCI. Our government and income tax people are wasting their time, energy and resources and running around to get to the root of this conspiracy. Hmm, was IPL worth all this? Isn’t cricket much more than just bidding and cheap politics?


Courtesy: TOI

The Intruder!!

The first time I saw him, it was just for a fraction of a second. He came and peeped into my world and disappeared. It happened so quick that, I was left wondering whether I imagined it all.
Some days later, when I had totally forgotten about the incident, I saw him again! This time I saw him clearly. He was young …with small eyes, which were searching for something. He saw me looking at him, and then again he vanished!

After that, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I was becoming so paranoid that I keep looking around every now and then. He had left me all frightened and fumed up.
Until one day I decided, enough is enough! I have to face my fears and have to find a way out. Hmm!
I discussed my problem with my friend and he gave me a few suggestions. Hmm but I knew whatever it is, it has to be done soon and it has to be done by me alone. So I sat down and made up my mind and decided that I will go for it. Yes! Only this can stop him. The Rodenticide!!

The next step was to lay the trap and it has to look real. So for that I chose places where I have seen him and waited for his arrival, but he didn’t appear. I didn’t lose my heart and waited for the next day too. That night, I was almost dosing off waiting for him, and then from the corner of my eyes I saw his blurry image! But alas! By the time my eyes were wide open, he was gone. The trap I laid for him lie untouched!

It’s been 3 days, and there has been no sight of him. Where did he disappear?? And why?? I don't know..Hmm but hey...Should I care!? Anyways, I hate intruders!

Reel effect!!

One of the many brilliant Malayalam movies made till date is ‘Thirakadha’. Yesterday when I watched it again for the second time, I couldn’t help thinking how a movie manages to create an impact on people?
Two major aspects of a movie are script and performance (by artists). Script, I believe, is the powerful of the two. A strong script with moderate performance has a more impact than a moderate script with a great performance. Like in the movie ‘Thirakadha’, the story itself captures you and you can feel the journey within it. The performances also were more than just moderate, in fact they were good, especially the protagonist role played by Priyamani. Some of the movies that stands out for its script or subject are ‘Water’, ‘Page 3’, ‘Taare zameen pe’, ‘Kaazhcha’ (mal), ‘Walk to remember’, ‘Step mom’, ‘Forest Gump’ etc, to name a few. (The list is really long! :)). But a movie like ‘Jab we met’ where the storyline is not that unique or different, the performances and direction took the front seats and got the attention of the viewers, which eventually made the movie successful.
Thus each movie has its own ingredients, and its own flavours which attracts the audience towards it.
Salute to all the brilliant scripts, performances and the individuals behind it!!

Another chance !?

It’s been long since I wrote anything here. J

All I have been writing all this time has been crap emails and documents to clients and my team at work. Hmm J Work is good if u like it. But you also have to be careful enough to be not too committed. Especially in a team, at times you tend to push yourself to make things right for everyone and everything in your project until a point comes where you think ‘Is it worth all this effort ?!’.

IT industry is interesting, though not interesting enough for me to involve in it passionately. It is true that I don’t follow the technologies or the trends in the market, but it is not that. I find something missing otherwise too. Let’s just say IT doesn’t fascinate me. J

After all these months of work and mindless pursue of things, I have lost track of why I did all these in the first place. I feel lost and tired!! Hmm, I want to start afresh with things !! I am not asking for ‘another chance to grow up once again’ or anything! ;D Just that, this time I want to do things that matters to me and makes more sense and gives a meaning to my life.

Life in a metro....its been a year...

June 9^th 2008: the day I joined the corporate world..well software world to be more specific but since my job doesn’t deal with coding and stuff, I would just say corporate world.

One of the main reasons of me not joining TCS was that I was looking out for something diff other than the usual coding job. So when my uncle offered me one, I gladly accepted and so I came to Bangalore and joined Nous Infosystems as Business Analyst Trainee. (No longer a trainee!!;))

I have always liked to be independent from young so staying with my uncle in Bangalore was out of question. Within a month, I moved out to a place as paying guest (PG). PG is another growing business here with hundreds of people coming to the city every year to join various industries (mostly software) and if you are ready to pay you can get any kind of accommodation according to your comfort level. Anyways, as I didn’t have any friends with me when I came here, i was more eager to be in a sharing room, so that I can meet and be friends with new people. And I did too, some good ones and some bad ones and some whom you will learn to ignore as time goes.

It’s been a year but still my every weekday here begins with the feeling “Ah god! I wish it was a weekend and I didn’t have to go to office” as I get up from bed after snoozing my alarm for half an hour. As I step out of my PG to office, the roads will be filled with cars, school buses , autos....with people rushing to their offices so that they can ‘swipe in’ in time. J As my office is nearby, I normally walk which I think is better considering the traffic here at times. Office has been a good experience for me till now; have learned a lot and met different types of people. Anyways, coming back to my day...so day passes fast/slow depending on my work. If it’s something interesting its fine or else when it is just about to be 6 30 in the eve, I feel the same urge to run out that I used to feel when the bell used to ring at the end of the day in school. :D

Weekends here can be fun if you have friends to hang out with.:) Even though its expensive and also you might have your diet to worry about, you might still find it hard to restrict at times as the city has got too many theme restaurants, eat outs, bowling points and malls to check out. Shopping is another way of passing time and spending money..;) If you are a lil bit shoppie like me then you will find it lil hard to stop urself. In fact nowadays when I see some nice top or t shirt I think “ No! I am not gonna try that on and see.. cos then I may think its good on me and then i will have to buy it !”:D Nevertheless you can also get clothes and others for good bargains if you know where to go. Or else you always can widow shop. J

Yeah the city has many things to check out and see and learn about, but still it has a weird feeling of loneliness in its air which touches you in between as you walk through the busy roads and traffic..which makes you and your world stop for a while and makes you think. But, don’t worry you won’t feel it for too long..cos u just can’t afford to stop like that in life..not in a metro.

Father and Daughter (Michael Dudok de Wit)

Year: 2000
Director: Michael Dudok de Wit
Writer: Michael Dudok de Wit
Genre:Short Animation / Drama
Awards:Won Oscar. Another 20 wins & 1 nomination more

Plot:A father says goodbye to his young daughter. In time the daughter grows old, but within her there is always a deep longing for her father.

This 8 minute film took around 8 years to make. This is wordless, minimalistic and beautifully animated short. This is one of the most touching pieces of art I have ever seen, and its effect on audience might last for life time. I found this through another blog and found it so touching that I couldn't stop myself from posting it again.

Hats off to one of the strongest Indian women !!

Inner strength is something that i admire a lot in people and so this post is for one of the strongest indian women i have read about, Mrs. Sudha Murthy. 

When I say strong, it goes deeper than you think. For someone who has been a topper (gold medalist) throughout her studies and was the first woman engineer to be selected in Telco (Tata Motors), it is not an easy decision to leave her career to support her husband and family. I read somewhere that a few women journalists had accused her of setting a wrong example by giving up her dreams to make her husband’s dream a reality. But in reality, only a few understand that sacrifice is not something that everybody can do. It takes lot of courage and inner strength to sacrifice something for people whom you love. And never did Mrs.Murthy lose her identity as a woman, in her husband's shadow. After supporting her husband and family in the early stages, she did, later on, pursue her dreams and aspirations and came across as a teacher, engineer, writer, philanthropist and corporate—all rolled into one. She is well known for her philanthropic work through the Infosys Foundation, under which she initiated many projects for the welfare of the less fortunate section of our society.

Google to read more about her works and don’t miss the love story of Mr. and Mrs. Murthy, it’s really inspiring. J Read below another inspiring post written by Sudha Murthy on why she respects JRD Tata so much and how her angry letter made him to change his rule…

There are two photographs that hang on my office wall. Every day when I enter my office I look at them before starting my day. They are pictures of two old people. One is of a gentleman in a blue suit and the other is a black and white image of a man with dreamy eyes and a white beard.
People have often asked me if the people in the photographs are related to me. Some have even asked me, "Is this black and white photo that of a Sufi saint or a religious Guru?" I smile and reply "No, nor are they related to me. These people made an impact on my life. I am grateful to them." "Who are they?" "The man in the blue suit is Bharat Ratna JRD Tata and the black and white photo is of Jamsetji Tata." "But why do you have them in your office?"" You can call it gratitude."
Then, invariably, I have to tell the person the following story. It was a long time ago. I was young and bright, bold and idealistic. I was in the final year of my Master's course in Computer Science at the Indian Institute of Science (IISc) in Bangalore, then known as the Tata Institute. Life was full of fun and joy. I did not know what helplessness or injustice meant.
It was probably the April of 1974. Bangalore was getting warm and gulmohars were blooming at the IISc campus. I was the only girl in my postgraduate department and was staying at the ladies' hostel. Other girls were pursuing research in different departments of Science. I was looking forward to going abroad to complete a doctorate in computer science. I had been offered scholarships from Universities in the US. I had not thought of taking up a job in India.
One day, while on the way to my hostel from our lecture-hall complex, I saw an advertisement on the notice board. It was a standard job-requirement notice from the famous automobile company Telco (now Tata Motors). It stated that the company required young, bright engineers, hardworking and with an excellent academic background, etc.
At the bottom was a small line: "Lady candidates need not apply." I read it and was very upset. For the first time in my life I was up against gender discrimination.
Though I was not keen on taking up the job, I saw it as a challenge. I had done extremely well in academics, better than most of my male peers. Little did I know then that in real life academic excellence is not enough to be successful.
After reading the notice I went fuming to my room. I decided to inform the topmost person in Telco's management about the injustice the company was perpetrating. I got a postcard and started to write, but there was a problem: I did not know who headed Telco. I thought it must be one of the Tatas. I knew JRD Tata was the head of the Tata Group; I had seen his pictures in newspapers (actually, Sumant Moolgaokar was the company's chairman then).
I took the card, addressed it to JRD and started writing. To this day I remember clearly what I wrote. "The great Tatas have always been pioneers. They are the people who started the basic infrastructure industries in India, such as iron and steel, chemicals, textiles and locomotives. They have cared for higher education in India, such as iron and steel, chemicals, textiles and locomotives. They have cared for higher education in India since 1900 and they were responsible for the establishment of the Indian Institute of Science. Fortunately, I study there. But I am surprised how a company such as Telco is discriminating on the basis of gender."
I posted the letter and forgot about it. Less than 10 days later, I received a telegram stating that I had to appear for an interview at Telco's Pune facility at the company's expense. I was taken aback by the telegram. My hostel mated told me I should use the opportunity to go to Pune free of cost and buy them the famous Pune saris for cheap! I collected Rs 30 each from everyone who wanted a sari. When I look back, I feel like laughing at the reasons for my going, but back then they seemed good enough to make the trip.
It was my first visit to Pune and I immediately fell in love with the city. To this day it remains dear to me. I feel as much at home in Pune as I do in Hubli, my hometown. The place changed my life in so many ways.
As directed, I went to Telco's Pimpri office for the interview. There were six people on the panel and I realised then that this was serious business. "This is the girl who wrote to JRD," I heard somebody whisper as soon as I entered the room. By then I knew for sure that I would not get the job. The realisation abolished all fear from my mind, so I was rather cool while the interview was being conducted.
Even before the interview started, I reckoned the panel was biased, so I told them, rather impolitely, "I hope this is only a technical interview." They were taken aback by my rudeness, and even today I am ashamed about my attitude.
The panel asked me technical questions and I answered all of them. Then an elderly gentleman with an affectionate voice told me, "Do you know why we said lady candidates need not apply? The reason is that we have never employed any ladies on the shop floor. This is not a co-ed college; this is a factory. When it comes to academics, you are a first ranker throughout. We appreciate that, but people like you should work in research laboratories."
I was a young girl from small-town Hubli. My world had been a limited place. I did not know the ways of large corporate houses and their difficulties, so I answered, "But you must start somewhere, otherwise no woman will ever be able to work in your factories."
Finally, after a long interview, I was told I had been successful. So this was what the future had in store for me. Never had I thought I would take up a job in Pune. I met a shy young man from Karnataka there, we became good friends and we got married.
It was only after joining Telco that I realised who JRD was: the uncrowned king of Indian industry. Now I was scared, but I did not get to meet him till I was transferred to Bombay. One day I had to show some reports to Mr Moolgaokar, our chairman, who we all knew as SM. I was in his office on the first floor of Bombay House (the Tata headquarters) when, suddenly JRD walked in. That was the first time I saw "appro JRD". Appro means "our" in Gujarati. This was the affectionate term by which people at Bombay House called him.
I was feeling very nervous, remembering my postcard episode. SM introduced me nicely, "Jeh (that's what his close associates called him), this young woman is an engineer and that too a postgraduate. She is the first woman to work on the Telco shop floor." JRD looked at me. 
I was praying he would not ask me any questions about my interview (or the postcard that preceded it). Thankfully, he didn't. Instead, he remarked. "It is nice that girls are getting into engineering in our country. By the way, what is your name?" "When I joined Telco I was Sudha Kulkarni, Sir," I replied. "Now I am Sudha Murthy." He smiled and kindly smile and started a discussion with SM. As for me, I almost ran out of the room.
After that I used to see JRD on and off. He was the Tata Group chairman and I was merely an engineer. There was nothing that we had in common. I was in awe of him.
One day I was waiting for Murthy, my husband, to pick me up after office hours. To my surprise I saw JRD standing next to me. I did not know how to react. Yet again I started worrying about that postcard. Looking back, I realise JRD had forgotten about it. It must have been a small incident for him, but not so for me.
"Young lady, why are you here?" he asked. "Office time is over." I said, "Sir, I'm waiting for my husband to come and pick me up." JRD said, "It is getting dark and there's no one in the corridor. I'll wait with you till your husband comes." I was quite used to waiting for Murthy, but having JRD waiting alongside made me extremely uncomfortable.
I was nervous. Out of the corner of my eye I looked at him. He wore a simple white pant and shirt. He was old, yet his face was glowing. There wasn't any air of superiority about him. I was thinking, "Look at this person. He is a chairman, a well-respected man in our country and he is waiting for the sake of an ordinary employee."
Then I saw Murthy and I rushed out. JRD called and said, "Young lady, tell your husband never to make his wife wait again."
In 1982 I had to resign from my job at Telco. I was reluctant to go, but I really did not have a choice. I was coming down the steps of Bombay House after wrapping up my final settlement when I saw JRD coming up. He was absorbed in thought. I wanted to say goodbye to him, so I stopped. He saw me and paused.
Gently, he said, "So what are you doing, Mrs Kulkarni?" (That was the way he always addressed me.) "Sir, I am leaving Telco." "Where are you going?" he asked. "Pune, Sir. My husband is starting a company called Infosys and I'm shifting to Pune." "Oh! And what will you do when you are successful." "Sir, I don't know whether we will be successful." "Never start with diffidence," he advised me. "Always start with confidence. When you are successful you must give back to society. Society gives us so much; we must reciprocate. I wish you all the best." Then JRD continued walking up the stairs. I stood there for what seemed like a millennium. That was the last time I saw him alive.
Many years later I met Ratan Tata in the same Bombay House, occupying the chair JRD once did. I told him of my many sweet memories of working with Telco. Later, he wrote to me, "It was nice hearing about Jeh from you. The sad part is that he's not alive to see you today."
I consider JRD a great man because, despite being an extremely busy person, he valued one postcard written by a young girl seeking justice. He must have received thousands of letters every day. He could have thrown mine away, but he didn't do that. He respected the intentions of that unknown girl, who had neither influence nor money, and gave her an opportunity in his company. He did not merely give her a job; he changed her life and mindset forever.
Close to 50 per cent of the students in today's engineering colleges are girls. And there are women on the shop floor in many industry segments.
I see these changes and I think of JRD. If at all time stops and asks me what I want from life, I would say I wish JRD were alive today to see how the company we started has grown. He would have enjoyed it wholeheartedly.
My love and respect for the House of Tata remains undiminished by the passage of time. I always looked up to JRD. I saw him as a role model for his simplicity, his generosity, his kindness and the care he took of his employees. Those blue eyes always reminded me of the sky; they had the same vastness and magnificence.

Recognition is temporary...

People have mixed feelings about whether Slumdog Millionaire is something for India to rejoice about or whether it is a mockery of India. Hmm whatever it is...it is definitely a salute to Indian talents like our A.R Rahman , Resul Pookutty , Gulzar…definitely India did make its presence felt in the international stage. Along with them, some ‘lucky’ street kids too got recognized. Rubina Ali and Azharuddin, the child artists of the movie, were real slum dwellers of Bombay before Danny Boyle's production found them and cast them in his movie. Now the kids have been flown in to the glamorous Oscars; they've been to the Disneyland, and now the Indian government is going to reward the two child actors with brand new homes. They even got signed by an Indian director for an 8-10 min role. But how much will all this last???….

If you have seen Mira Nair’s Salaam Bombay (an Oscar nominee too), you won’t forget ‘Krishna’, the innocent lad who after being deserted by a circus group ends up in the streets of Bombay. The movie was a huge success and the kid won the ‘National award for best child artist’ and was appreciated by many. The ‘Krishna’ is Shafiq Syed, who is at present a rickshaw driver in Bangalore who ekes out an income of RS.150 per day.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Cities/Salaam-star-now-a-rickshaw-driver/articleshow/4225852.cms

My past few months...

The past 2-3 months have been busy months for me. Applying to management colleges, preparing for group discussion (gd) and interview (pi), ‘trying’ to read papers and whatever current affairs I can…hmm even thou I say all this with so much enthusiasm, I didn’t even put half of it into action ;-)

Life is one hell of surprises. And now I know why. How do you think I got 92 percentile in CAT?? :)Well not that I wrote the exam that badly, in fact I knew I did pretty ok in two sections and was confident after checking the answer keys that I may hit somewhere in 70 to 85 percentile, but 92 was not even there in my dreams. J No, I am not being modest. Well maybe this is the effect of the ‘Percentile’ system. You see, 92 percentile just means that my score was better than the 92 percentage of people who wrote the exam. So if you actually think, I owe more to those 92 percent category people..:D

Anyways after I realized it was actually my score, I started my maha search for b schools. I searched about the b schools that fall in the top 20-40 list in India. Since I was not expecting this, I had not applied anywhere before the results were announced and some b schools needed you to apply before the results. Hmm just another way of making money I tell you. Each application costs on an average 1000 (actually most of them were 1500), so even if they get like 2000 applications, think about the money they make. Yeah so I was in search of good b schools that would still accept applications. After some 2-3 days of browsing and talking, I decided on 5 colleges to apply. After some days it struck me that if I get a call for gd/pi I have to say something there. So I started going for Career Launcher’s(CL) gd/pi classes.

After my first introductory class in CL, they arranged me a mock interview which turned out to be more of a shock than a mock to me. After my last interview in May 2007 I had not attended any till date. Yeah I did enjoy grilling some juniors while taking mock interviews for them in college, but didn’t know it was payback time. J So I went for this mock one rather coolly. But the moment I saw the interviewer, I knew I will spoil it. He was a well built and very fair guy (was actually a lil pinkish too). Anyways he looked little scary to me. I knew he would grill me into pieces and he did. Even when I was talking in my interview I was thinking like what the hell am I saying and that too for simple questions like Why MBA and all(which I realized later on is not as simple as I thought J). Anyways after the interview, he gave me a piece of his mind and I accepted it. :D (as if I had a choice;)). Yeah one thing I tell you, it made me think a lot. For the next few days, I was pondering on Why Management? and things like that. You know the answer, but just that you need to get it out and frame it in the proper way. Then came my first gd experience in CL classes. I got into the class pretty late, but thankfully everyone was late even our instructor. Finally the instructor came and apologized for being late and introduced himself as an IIM Bangalore second year student. Then asked to introduce ourselves and say what calls (calls for gd/pi) we have got. Only when everyone started introducing I realized I was in a completely wrong place. They were all guys who got IIM and IIFT calls. Even I introduced myself and said ‘No calls till now’. :D (Well I had just applied to colleges and was expecting calls only after some weeks). Then IIM-B guy wrote our topic of discussion on the board: “Sub-prime crisis will affect India”. I was like “Shit”. I didn’t know what was sub-prime! Guess he read my mind, he said “I hope everyone is aware of the topic.” I wanted to say no but I didn’t. He added “Even if you don’t know, just listen in the beginning and then join the discussion.” So when the discussion began I listened and then I got little bit of what sub-prime should be, but thanks to my other gd mates, I didn’t open my mouth. During feedback at the end, the IIM-B guy asked me what happened. I said I didn’t know the topic and he said “It’s ok but do join next time”. Phew! So one of the first things I did after that was read about sub-prime that week. After some weeks, after I attended few more gds in CL, I got used to such gds and started to contribute more to the gd and also met some non-iim call getters ;)

I had applied to 5 colleges and I got a call for gd/pi from BIMTECH (Birla institute of management, Noida) first. All along, one website that I frequently visited was ‘pagalguy.com’. It’s an MBA forum for pagals like me. ;) But trust me, it’s really helpful. You have discussions for everything about MBA and about all the top colleges and you get a pretty much idea about how things should be done and also senior guys of the colleges will respond to your queries. So, naturally I checked in pagalguy for the gd/pi experiences of BIMTECH posted by people who has already completed it. I found that it was rather general topics for gd and also there was a write-up. Interview also sounded a bit relaxed. So, on the D day I dressed up formally and my bro drove me to the venue. After an initial introduction, our batch of students was taken into a conference room for the write-up round. The topic given was “Sky is blue, grass is green”. :D Well it was fine. I first wrote how normally people distinguish between things and that it’s actually each person’s perspective of seeing things and all. I think I ended it well n al and guess my writing was decent. Then we were made into 4 groups. Our group was called after some time and topic was “Are Indians safe in india?” Well after reading about gd/pi sessions of bimtech in pagal guy I was expecting a typical fish market and was getting ready to shout. But surprisingly in my group some guys were rather silent in beginning which came as an advantage to me. One guy started and I followed with some good points I think but yeah maybe in between I was searching for words while talking but anyways it went kinda ok. After some time, I got in for interview by 12pm. And there were three interviewers. They were pretty nice and laid back so I was at ease too. When I entered the room, one older guy was like “So Deepthi is it good morning or good afternoon?”. And I said good afternoon. And they were like “aha so it’s good afternoon for you” and I should have just smiled and kept my big mouth shut, but I had to add in a low voice “Well it depends on each person”. And they were like “Oh is it? It depends on each person and not on time huh. How is that?” And for a sec I was like “oh shit”, but I quickly said something like “ For someone who rises up early in the morning, its already afternoon..” (JI don’t remember the exact sentence). And the three of them started laughing and one of them was like “yeah good one” and told me to sit down. Phew: D …So this is how it started. It went ok. It was all questions related to job and interests and management. I could manage somehow. Finally when they said it’s over, I was relieved and I guess it reflected on my face too much and they were like “so a big sigh huh!” I gave a smileJ. I attended one more gd/pi recently for another college which went not that great and guess I got two more gd/pi coming up in the other 1-2 months.

Then what…I saw Delhi 6 last weekJ. It’s shot well. The events in the movie are symbolic which I think, is a really nice and simple way to bring up certain issues but the only problem being the audience understanding the true essence of it. Then, of course the A.R Rahman music to add to it. One thing the director could have avoided was the Abhishek’s fake US accent in the beginning, which went really weird at some point and yeah maybe a better ending. Hmm…whatever…I liked it. In fact it felt sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better than our last one: Chandini chowk to china. :D

So that’s how it’s been the last few days for me..phew! I never thought I will write this post. Things have been changing so fast around me that I really didn’t know what to write. Hmm and at times there is nothing much you can do when things change around you or your loved ones, other than sit and think that it’s all for the best. I believe that when something bad happens it is to complement something better that is going to happen. But yeah like all others, in between even I forget to remember that during my bad times. :)

I am matured ! ah ! :(

Today in office, suddenly a team mate, sitting beside me asked when did i complete my graduation. I said this year (may) and said i joined for work in june. He said i have changed. I gave him a questioning look. Actually, he was going through my photo album in orkut and then showed me a pic of me and my best friend(which was kinda recent pic, taken in may). I asked him jokingly "You mean good or bad?"(Hoping he will say good..hehe;) He said "Not about good or bad. You look happier in the pics. Now, in office, you look matured." I was like "Oh":(. Then he said he too have changed in the last one year. Before he used to live with his friends and it was a tension free life and now he is married (he he).
So basically if you want to stay looking young , stay around your friends or dont start to work or dont get married.:-D

PS: While i was typing this post from office, a voice suddenly asked from behind "Whats that..impressions?". And as a reflex reaction i quickly did ALT + TAB (like during the computer lab sessions in college when the lab instructor will suddenly pop up from no where :0) and i turned and smiled at my colleague and was like "Eh..well..thats my blog." (Hmm..hehe... matured huh!)

Hmm....

This photo was taken by me from the famous commercial street in bangalore. This huge lump of waste clothes were dumped in a corner on one of the roads there which was filled with tailor shops. I simply clicked with my mobile and while i was taking the pic, a muslim tailor from behind told me "Are bahut se log aate hai aur photo leke chale jaate hai, par koi faida nahin. Kahin pe bhi photo nahin dalthe aur kuch nahin hota hai.". I turned and smiled at him. Hmm...